It is inevitable that at some point over the course of the years significant events will crop up which test both your grief and your emotional stability in relation to your loss. Their birthday, the first year mark, Christmas, Weddings, even the 6 month mark- days which at one point seemed to simply flow into your life, where now they almost act as hurdles in which we must jump over. So how do you succeed these hurdles?
I personally have identified that in order to partly embrace these hurdles you should aim to approach them in a different way. Crawl under, walk around even move the ‘hurdle’- access a different perspective and meaning for each event.
August marked the 6 month hurdle for the loss of my father as well as his Birthday in which we always shared. The run up seemed so far and so daunting , subconsciously all of my actions and motives were leading up to these events. I found myself severly stressed at the smallest of things, overwhelmed by everyday tasks and closed off to myself and my basic needs such as eating, sleeping and simply breathing.So I stopped, I stopped and stepped back and approached these looming events in a different manner. I didn’t mark them. I didn’t tarnish the days with any major consideration of the event. I gave a brief acknowledgement of the 6 month mark and then left it a fleeting thought because otherwise every month in which I live I may as well just torture myself by putting myself back to that day. Why should I do that to myself? I can never get back what I lost so why should I continue to tarnish my grief journey and any personal progress I feel I have made. So for his Birthday we all gave acknowledgement but took the opportunity to come together as a family and spend a lovely day out together- celebrating what he allowed us to achieve through such adversity. Celebrating life in the face of death.
So take a step back and face the hurdle from a different angle. Establish what works for you without tarnishing your journey, progress and most importantly yourself. Things are marked as events via ourselves. Christmas only becomes ‘our Christmas’ if we establish it in such a way.You have the control over these ever looming hurdles. So look upon them with strength, embrace them with open arms and take them in your stride.
“Nothing means anything until you make it mean something”
All my love
LJ x
believement 